A Champion's Reluctance
by azazelisawesome
Summary: Critical Role: The story of Vax's relationship with the Raven Queen so far, told from the goddess's perspective.
1. Near Death

The Raven Queen's interest in Vax'ildan of Vox Machina began rather suddenly.

As the guardian over fate, she had long detested those who abandoned their natural deaths. More recently, the Raven Queen found her gaze drawn to a vampire and the necromancer who had been foolish enough to marry him.

Lord and Lady Briarwood were some of the most defiant abominations she had witnessed in the past few centuries. When Sylas had died naturally, as he was intended, his wife had brought him back with the assistance of Vecna.

Vecna. A much worse corruption of everything that the Raven Queen stood for than the Briarwoods, but not someone that she particularly wanted to go to war against at this moment.

So the goddess watched the pair from a distance, searching for an opportunity to remove them from the earth. She observed their takeover of Whitestone and their foul defilement of the temple beneath. As the Raven Queen watched, she pondered how she might eliminate the couple before they spat on her domain any further. Unfortunately, her followers were currently few in number, and none of them had the capacity to kill the powerful Lord and Lady Briarwood.

Despite her present inability to destroy the couple, the Raven Queen continued to watch them. This persistent observation would prove more useful than she had anticipated.  
On one particularly dull day, the Raven Queen watched as Lord and Lady Briarwood attended a dinner with some rather important people before retiring to their room for the night. Just as she began to shift her gaze elsewhere, both the goddess and the couple were surprised when a newcomer entered the bedroom.

The young half-elf appeared equally stunned by the Briarwoods' presence, if his hastily-constructed and remarkably unbelievable lies were anything to go by. The lord and lady were amused and began toying with him, as they were wont to do. The Raven Queen started to lose interest; she had witnessed the couple enjoying this type of game before, and it always ended with her guiding the victim's soul to the other side. Unfortunately, all of the Briarwoods' escapades often ended with someone dead before their time—just another way that they defiled her dominion.

But the half-elf didn't die.

He remained conscious longer than the Raven Queen had anticipated, stalling with some increasingly poor lies before making a run for it. When the half-elf fell unconscious, she assumed that it was over, only to be surprised by the arrival of his friends, a group of remarkably impressive warriors.

Although a large portion of the young man's survival could be credited to his eclectic companions, the Raven Queen couldn't help but be intrigued. She had never witnessed a single person escape the clutches of Lord and Lady Briarwood after being so completely cornered.

After that incident, the Raven Queen's gaze shifted. Although she still kept an eye on the Briarwoods, her attention was more focused on the reckless half-elf. Was he simply lucky, or was he something far more interesting?

As the next several weeks progressed, the Raven Queen's interest increased dramatically. Yet another near-death experience—evaded. Yet another encounter with the Briarwoods—survived. Curiosity overcame her doubt, and the goddess finally sought out the young half-elf's golden line of fate to see if he was as unique as she suspected. And sure enough…

Fate-touched.

The Raven Queen gently ran her fingers down the glowing golden string that was much more flexible and durable than the others. As the keeper of fate, it wasn't often that she was surprised, but this moment proved to be the exception. The perfect person to help her fight against the forces that sought to pervert her domain had fallen right into her lap.

The question, now, was how to bring him into her service. Like other fate-touched people before him, the half-elf had more than one divine being interested in him. The Raven Queen sensed the gentle glow of Sarenrae on him already, and knew that the goddess of second chances would probably be her largest competitor.

The trick here was to find the right opportunity, and the Raven Queen was very patient…


	2. First Meeting

When her followers had constructed the tomb for her fallen champion—many centuries ago now—the Raven Queen had largely given them free reign over what traps to include in the design. As she observed the half-elf and his friends maneuver their way through the now-damaged remains, the goddess felt pride in the hard work that had gone into its construction.

The beholder was a surprise, though. That particular creature may have set up residence in the tomb of its own free will.

The Raven Queen watched, impressed, as the group of adventurers destroyed the beholder and made their way towards their goal: the Deathwalker's Ward, armor that had been designed and imbued with power by the goddess herself.

This was when the situation unexpectedly turned in her favor.

With a blast of death energy, a trap that her followers had set long ago was triggered accidentally by the white-haired man, sending several members of the group flying. One of them, a young female half-elf who the Raven Queen recognized as her object of interest's sister, was killed instantly.

As the group began to panic, the goddess stared at the girl's soul, which had now largely separated from her body. Frowning, the Raven Queen quickly searched through her catalog of golden threads to find the now severed line of the female half-elf before her. Sure enough, the goddess could see just by glancing at the faintly-glowing string that it was not supposed to have been broken this early. Well, she couldn't let that stand.

The Raven Queen felt a surge of resurrection energy flood the tomb and turned her attention back to the events at hand. The cleric who belonged to the-goddess-she-deigned-not-name had begun the appropriate spell. Good—this would give her the opportunity to mend the thread and put everything back in its place.

The goddess watched as, one by one, several members of the group stepped forward to present offerings for their friend. The last one to contribute was the half-elf, who was kneeling on the floor and clutching his sister to his chest. Curiosity filled the Raven Queen again, as she wondered what he would bring to the ritual.

Although the goddess could not bring her full form into the realm of mortals, she could occasionally project her image, though it took a great deal of energy to do so. As the resurrection spell continued, she decided that now was the time to use this ability.

She wanted the half-elf to see her.

The first person to notice was the cleric, whose eyes widened in fear for a moment before narrowing and becoming harder. One by one, the other members of the group saw her ethereal form, but they all remained silent, perhaps out of shock or perhaps out of reverence for the ritual at hand.

HE was the last person to look. After the white-haired ones made their offerings, the half-elf finally turned his head and glared straight at her. Fury and desperation battled on his face, and in that moment, the Raven Queen knew exactly what he was going to offer.

"Take me instead," he spat, "you raven bitch."

The thrill of victory surged through her. The Raven Queen extended an arm in the half-elf's direction and graced him with a nod. In that moment, she marked him. It wasn't something visible, but any other god or goddess who encountered the half-elf after this moment would know who he belonged to.

When the female's soul reentered her body, the Raven Queen swept her image away and watched the rest of the scene play out. Through her newly-forged connection to the half-elf, she could feel the emotions that ran through him as his sister breathed once again. At first, he was filled with relief and happiness that she had returned. However, this positive emotion was short-lived and swiftly turned into fear—fear of the goddess, and fear of what his deal meant.

The Raven Queen could live with fear. She was used to that kind of reaction by now.


	3. The Sign and the Dream

At first, the Raven Queen kept her distance, intending to give her new Champion time to recover from his sister's death. However, she quickly changed her mind about this approach when he paid a visit to the druid.

The half-elf's fear had only grown since the incident in the tomb, and he seemed to believe that the goddess meant him ill in some way. When the druid offered to cast Greater Restoration on him, the Raven Queen felt offended at the implication that she was a foul presence that needed to be dispelled by divine magic. She decided to send a small message to get her feelings across—just a single raven—and it appeared to do the trick. Unfortunately, it only caused the building despair inside her Champion to increase, which could be destructive if left alone.

The Raven Queen knew that she would need to take action in order to set him on the right path, so she decided to do so through a dream. After entering the half-elf's sleep state, she presented him with the room of fate, a place that few mortals had the privilege of visiting. He was frightened and awestruck at the sight of the endless golden strands, and the goddess was pleased that he maintained his composure despite the confusing situation. What mattered most to the Raven Queen, however, was ensuring that her Champion understood that his choices were important. As one who was fate-touched, he had the unique ability to manipulate fate without breaking it, and he needed to take responsibility for that skill.

"The choice is yours: rebirth or ruin, maker or martyr, conqueror, tyrant. Or…nothing."


	4. And Then He Calls

The first time her Champion prayed to her, he was desperate for concrete answers.

The Raven Queen believed that people should work for their knowledge, so instead of replying to him directly, she pointed him in the direction of her temple. Fortunately, the half-elf appeared to get the message, even if he was somewhat disgruntled by it. The goddess was amused at his new attitude, and was glad that he was finally starting to move away from the high levels of fear that had saturated his consciousness every time he thought of her.

* * *

The second time her Champion prayed to her, he wanted to save a friend.

The goliath had fallen prey to the vampire's sword, so instead of his soul going to the Raven Queen as it was supposed to, it was swallowed up by the weapon. Furious at this abominable object that was encroaching on her domain, the goddess helped her Champion and his friends resurrect the large one. Even so, she gave the half-elf a brief warning before she left:

"I believe that every death has its place."

Although it wasn't the goliath's time just yet, the Raven Queen knew that the day would come when she would have to refuse her Champion's plea. She wanted to prepare him for that eventuality.

* * *

The third time her Champion prayed to her, he was falling.

The Raven Queen had watched the unfolding events half-amused, half-alarmed as the half-elf and one of his companions teleported themselves inside of the dragon they were trying to kill. Obviously, this didn't work out well, which was how her Champion found himself falling through the air as the giant eagle and the gnome riding it attempted to catch up to him.

As the half-elf began to plummet, he prayed.

 _If you have any wings to lend me, now is the time._

The Raven Queen felt a new emotion soar through her chosen Champion at this moment: acceptance. Finally, he successfully pushed back his fear and embraced his new status. The goddess smiled, and sent the half-elf a streak of feathers as a sign that she had heard his call. Then she waited until the exact right moment as the eagle soared beneath him. Once it was in the perfect position, she whispered:

"Left."

Her Champion obeyed her without a second thought, reaching out to the left and successfully grabbing onto his gnome friend. As she watched him climb onto the eagle, the Raven Queen couldn't help but grin. Finally, some progress.


	5. Raven's Crest

The mood in Raven's Crest was more energetic than usual.

Once she determined that the half-elf was finally planning to visit her temple, the Raven Queen informed her monks and clerics so they could properly prepare. The usually sober temperament of her followers brightened with excitement as they readied themselves for her Champion's arrival. It had been a long time since the Raven Queen had chosen a Champion, and the men and women of Raven's Crest were eager to see who had won the goddess' favor.

When the half-elf at long last stepped into the temple, accompanied by two others, the Raven Queen could sense that his fear was close to bubbling over again. Fortunately, her followers behaved impeccably, welcoming him to Raven's Crest and ushering him graciously into the chamber where the Communion Pool lay. Though afraid, her Champion acted in a way that made her proud—holding his head high, walking calmly into the pool, and swallowing the blood within it.

The goddess could feel the awe and dread battling within the half-elf as she held him in her hand. These emotions didn't prevent him from listening carefully, however, as the Raven Queen formally explained her philosophy and her Champion's purpose. To her delight, the half-elf was respectful with both his attitude and his questions despite his feelings towards her, so she decided to reward him.

She showed him her mortal form.

It had been a very long time since the Raven Queen had allowed anyone to see her previous human visage. As she took off her mask and stared into her Champion's eyes, she could sense him soften slightly at her less intimidating presence and relax a bit more as he stood in front of her. Some warmth emanated from him towards her, and the goddess was pleased at the shift in emotion.

With one last kiss on her Champion's forehead, the Raven Queen sent him on his way. Though not without leaving him one last gift, just in case he fell out of a dragon again…


End file.
